When a person is sick and goes to see a doctor of medicine, the doctor would observe the patients vital signs, and would ask the patient what he feels, which part of the body is painful, or when the ailment was noticed to have started. The patient would tell the doctor the answers being sought, from the view point of the patient. The doctor would then make his evaluation, and only then will he make his prescriptions and suggestions on what medicine the patient should take, the dosage and what to do and not do. Similarly, we should be like a doctor when handling our kids. When we observe and see that there seems to be something wrong with our kids, based on their actions, and changes in routines, manners and grades, we should ask them what is bothering them before we make our evaluation, conclusions that they are grounded, and prescriptions or suggestions. It is not the other way around (the reversed process). You must listen to your kids first. Pure hunch or guess work is not acceptable. Verification is important, and observations validation is necessary.
Written by: Sanoy Suerte, RME/MBM; http://www.linkedin.com/in/sannysuerte